Moving on from a break up is not as easy as getting over a crush. In your current broken-hearted situation, it may not seem possible at all, but there are ways to condition yourself to be ready being friends with your ex again. You've been friends before so don't close yourself to the idea of having a rewarding friendship with him still.
Let it all out
Don't be afraid to soak a pillow in tears or disturb the neighbors with your incessant sobbing. A break up is an intense emotional and mental experience, and your neighbors will understand as long as you don't cry all week. Let out your anger, sadness, and frustration by talking with your girlfriends or by writing it down on a journal. Also, don't worry about going back to your daily routines just yet. You may not feel like cleaning up or cooking meals and that's okay. Give the grief some time, but peel yourself out of your home to do things that nurture and lighten up your mood like pampering yourself at the spa or having a warm cup of tea.
Restrain yourself
It can be really tempting to stalk your ex on social media, but doing it will only make it worse. You may be in for a surprise if it looks like he's moving on easier than you are, so try to keep yourself from checking on him. While you can wolf down three pints of ice cream, try to find healthy alternatives that keep your mind off of him. Avoid thinking of hopping aboard the friends-with-benefits-train as well; it will only be a husk of what used to be.
Avoid self-destructive behavior and revenge. Hooking up with his best friend isn't ideal; it will lessen your chances of becoming friends with him in the future, and it will feel devastatingly empty.
Focus on improving your outlook in life by attending yoga classes, working out more consistently, hanging out with loved ones, reading a good book, or starting a new hobby.
Get back on the horse
Bring yourself back to the routine you had before you were together. With plenty more time on your hands, you can focus on keeping the house clean again or doing more activities with your friends.
Fight the temptation to curl up in bed until you feel good again. Rise early, jog after work, or finish that backlog of great novels. With a wide open social calendar, you can fill your week with more fun ways to bond with your friends and family. This familiar routine can help take the pain away caused by the hole he left in your life.
Hang with him again
When you have dug yourself out of the rut, you can start seeing him again. If you hang around in the same social circle, you can join in on the group's activities again. Karaoke night is open for you again, and you can fill the spot you left behind on the weekly ladies night with friends.
If you find yourself hanging out with him alone, keep things platonic. Of course, you can talk about the break up but make sure to keep boundaries and make it clear that you aren't holding on to the hope that you will hook up again.
In Summary
Don't let your feelings get the best of you and remind yourself that you are your own person. A friendship between exes is achievable, but only if both parties make an effort to move on.
Remember to take care of yourself during the coping period and keep your mind and body clean. You may find yourself at the bar with some friends, so avoid drunk dialing or sending texts while inebriated. It can only lead to regrets in the morning. Most of all, take it easy. We're rooting for you!
How did you get back to being friends with an ex? We're excited to hear your advice in the comments section below!
