It takes a lot to hurt the feelings of a man so if your boyfriend tells you that you said something hurtful, you should take it seriously with respect and sincerity. While most men can build emotional barriers to hide their pain, the breaking point can be devastating. And all it takes is a woman's touch, even if it's you who did the hurting.
If you're caught in a rut and you don't know how to make it up to him, here are a couple of points to consider before making your approach.
Think
Mull over what you said. How would you have felt if he said those same hurtful words you said? Find out why those words hurt him and understand why you said those things in the first place.
A man with a wounded pride is difficult to console, and your words may have hit an important part of his masculinity. Men are emotionally strong but if you hit the weakness in his armor, you need to take responsibility and bandage him up.
However, an apology doesn't always mean you made a mistake. You might be sorry for the way things happened or the way it made him feel, but it certainly doesn't mean you are completely wrong.
Compose Yourself
"You're a man, so act like one!" might be something you are inclined to say when the adrenaline is high, but try to remove yourself from his company and take time to cool down before saying anything more. How does "a man" act? Do you always "act like a lady"? Stereotypes are so last century.
If you were fighting right after you said your remark, excuse yourself politely and get some fresh air.
Once the both of you have calmed down, speak calmly and respectfully so that he can take your apology seriously. Be composed when you approach him otherwise it might reignite the fight. While it can be tempting to say your piece, resist doing so. He has been hurt and is allowed to feel upset. Do not try to dominate the conversation when making your apology.
Elaborate
Now would be the time to explain why you said the things you did, and let him know that you understand the reasons why he is hurt. Take the time to explain to him that you understand what you did wrong, and that you never meant to hurt him. A man can appreciate honesty, openness, and conviction when a woman makes an apology.
Commit
Make a conscious, dedicated effort to change your ways. If you truly love him, you will do whatever you can to make up for your mistake. True apologies are not just words you say, but feelings and intentions made observable.
So when you say you won't ever make the mistake again, mean it and then find solutions to the problem. If he sees that you are sincere in making a change, he will appreciate your efforts and forgive you more easily.
Be patient
Men can take an emotional beating before they break, and when that happens it is a long and winding road toward forgiveness for you. While it is human to make mistakes, to forgive is divine. So you have to earn that absolution with patience, dedication, and repentance. It's easy to ask for forgiveness, but proving that you are actualy emphatic enough to feel sorry is a whole different endeavor.
Let's say it's already been a couple of days since the incident and he still is reminded of your offense; instead of badgering him about forgiving you, try to understand what his reasons are.
If you have cheated, you have to take a more delicate path to redemption. It is one of the most devastating things a man could experience, so take extra care and dedication when trying to earn back his trust. Just make sure to control your emotions and cut off all contact with the paramour.
Men are difficult to hurt, but are just as vulnerable to emotional pain as women. So if you've offended your boyfriend, try to keep these tips in mind for the best chances at recovering. Good luck!
Have you been in the same position? How did you earn back your boyfriend? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
